the stage lights are burning up.

[the stage lights are burning up.]

for the most part i haven’t had too many major mood swings since ive stabilized on my new medication. but when they do hit, they hit so hard.

ive been dissociating a lot lately, especially today (didn’t know that was the term for it until i looked it up to see if it was normal)

i think the negative thoughts have just been creeping back in little by little. i haven’t had suicidal thoughts in a while, or at least as intense as i did during the summer. but now it feels like when i have these lows, the default is suicidal.

i finally have something i feel like i want to commit to long term but when i feel like this, i let go of that thought because i feel like i can’t trust myself to be around long enough to see it through.

if i were to end it, i think it would be decemeber. that’s where it started. that’s when i overdosed. decemeber feels like the end of all things, it only feels right.

[the stage lights are burning up.]

[sugaryyycarousel]

Sugarbell island 🌸✨

[the stage lights are burning up.]

one of my friends that was an active follower just passed away and even though we didn’t talk super often im still feeling so heartbroken. he was always active in my space and when we did talk it always great and im just having a hard time grasping the fact that he’s gone.

[the stage lights are burning up.]

is it true that they lifted the prōn ban?

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im doing a lot better. ive been off work for a couple weeks and started intensive outpatient care. changed medications and at the moment im doing okay. not 100% but recovering.

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i see your asks, im sorry. im in a suicidal low right now that i can’t get out of and seeking outpatient help. nothing feels fun anymore. nothing feels worth it. im holding onto life by a single thread. i don’t have plans to come back right now. i just know some of you were asking where i went. i don’t know either

[the stage lights are burning up.]

creampie-senpaii-deactivated202 asked:

that cow outfit 😵‍💫

I’ve got a better one haha

[the stage lights are burning up.]

creampie-senpaii-deactivated202 asked:

Where did you come across origami button? I just saw them live yesterday

LUCKY i went them to come out west

but i think i was listening to the royal coda radio on Spotify and heard sorbet I think

button season is 👌

[the stage lights are burning up.]

when you start talking to a guy from one of your favorite bands and buy new merch but then get uncomfortable and stop talking to him and can’t listen to the band anymore and then your merch comes in 🤡

[the stage lights are burning up.]

Anonymous asked:

which dgd song was playing in the background, I would love to skate to it.

lyrics lie